A Time and Place for Everything
Going out with my kids sometimes can be so stressful. They don't always act appropriate. They don't always behave. First, it is important to remember that our kids are sinners. They are not always going to do the right thing. They get tired and worn out too. They have things that bother them. They are going to mess up. But, there is a way that you can help your kids learn how to do the right thing and how to behave in different situations.
If you know me, you know I love Proverbs. Solomon has some great wisdom in Ecclesiastes that we can use with our kids also. In chapter three of the book Solomon talks about there being a time for everything. Teaching our kids the appropriate time and place for behavior and voice levels helps them see purpose and order in the world. It helps them know the God of order and their place. So many times I think kids don't behave because they just don't understand. I see problems when I let up in my instruction. We must teach them the ways of life, the ways of God. He is so clear on the expectations, and so orderly in His creation. Let's show our kids that clarity and order!
SCAN THE PLACE - Be a SPY
'SCAN THE PLACE', you know how spies look out for all potential threats when they enter a situation. We do the same type of thing everywhere we go, but to ourselves, 'SCAN THE PLACE FOR YOU BEHAVIOR'.
DISCIPLINE
Yes, it is exhausting! But discipline is. Discipline is the exercise, the training. Discipline is not punishment, that is a very small part of the training. Change your idea of discipline being a form of punishment to the idea of an athlete getting up early and running to train for that marathon. Parents, we are trainers of our children. We are to make them do those pushups of discipline again, stretch those muscles of thinking about what is appropriate, run one more mile of practice or discussion to form that godly character. And it must be done over and over.
PRACTICAL TIPS
Here are some practical tips for training (disciplining) your kids when you go out. We do this before we leave the house or before we get out of the car. Sometimes even as we are walking into a place.
QUESTIONS TO ASK
*What is this place?
(restaurant, store, library, church, etc)
*What is the purpose of this place?
(Worship, learn, study, eat, play, exercise)
*What body behaviors are appropriate?
(Sitting, jumping, walking, running, throwing our bodies)
*What is the voice level?
(silence/face gestures, whisper, face-to-face talk, room-to-room talk, yelling) Show me.
AN EXAMPLE
As we walk into a restaurant. We will go through he four questions. What is this place? A restaurant. What is the purpose of a restaurant? To eat with people. What body behaviors are appropriate? Sitting and talking. Yes, no getting on your knees. No standing up and dancing. We are not going to throw our bodies down or wrestle like when we are on the trampoline. There is glass and waiters carrying things so we always watch for who or what is by us. (We try to make it funny and silly sometimes). What is the voice level? Face to face talk. Yes, the people at the other table should not hear our conversation. We do not yell. We use polite words like please and thank you. We have conversation tones.
TIP: If you have little ones, I keep a bag of little cars, some small toys, some markers and extra coloring books in my coat closet. If it is a restaurant that takes longer I grab my ‘restaurant bag’ to take with me to keep them entertained. You can also do games like I spy, Guess what word I am thinking of , My favorite things, (ask everyone their favorites- ice cream, country, park, book etc), Would you Rather and give 2 options and they have to pick one, to keep them entertained.
Teach them there is a time and place for everything! Teach them clear expectations like God does to us. Teach them that God is orderly and purposeful!
May you Have Abundant Days and Abundant Homes for His glory and your good!
❤ Kristin O.
